After being the first President to ever fly into a combat zone unannounced and heroically meeting members of our special forces, President Trump and his family have landed safely in Florida and are preparing a huge announcement. The family’s PR firm has released a statement that confirms that the facts that are about to come out aren’t speculation from untrusted sources inside the administration, they are untrusted speculation from another source altogether.
Director of Presidential Image and Propaganda, Art Tubolls, told our reporter in the field:
“The Trump family is donating $1 billion to the border wall GoFundMe started by the brave and heretic Senior Mailman Bri-Bri Kolfags. They aren’t going to declare it or tell anyone where they got it, they’re just donating it. President Trump will sign an Executive Order making donation sources anonymous if the money is going to the public trust.”
With more than $1 billion in funds ready to go, the Trump administration will be able to secure the equipment and team of lawyers necessary to tear thousands of Americans living on border property from their homes, for the public good.
They will have to take most of the Texas border by eminent domain, and then there’s the whole issue of watershed and walls on riverbanks and such, but Trump is hiring a qualified company to figure that out.
They will take the land they need, organize the material, use labor from Mexico and pre-fab the sections on that side so it’s all legal and as cheap as possible, and finally make America safe from the 10 percent of undocumented workers and refugees who come here by land. Thank you,
President Trump and your wonderful, beautiful family and all you’ve sacrificed for America. You truly know how the average person in this country works, feels, and operates.