Economy

BREAKING: Jerry Jones Gives Ted Nugent a Night at Texas Stadium and $3 Million For Wall Benefit Concert

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Texas Stadium is about to be the home of the biggest benefit show on Earth. Jerry Jones, the sole owner of the complex, has given Ted Nugent permission to put on his “Build the Wall Benefit Concert” as early as January 30th. Jones has thrown in the cost of the lights and a million dollars in money to help pay the crew and set up concession stand fundraisers.

Nugent, a longtime conservative and a Trump supporter, is well-known in the world of Rock and Roll for not getting into the Hall of Fame, and to veterans as a draft-dodger. Those days, however, are behind him. According to the Nuge:

“I know I had a rough go in my earlier years and I regret crapping myself to avoid Nam, but damn…it was Vietnam. Nobody wanted to go there. The fact that I betrayed my country is null and void when you consider that I’m gonna raise a couple billion for our security. Then they’ll appreciate ol’ Uncle Ted.”

A spokesman for Jerry Jones says the Cowboys owner was feeling pretty good about the move. Head of Cowboys PR, Art Tubolls, told Fox News:

“Jerry has been feeling like he’s not giving enough back. He said the $5 million this will cost him is peanuts compared to the Trump tax cut he just received, so he’s happy to support the President’s policies, and Ted Nugent is a fine man with a storied past.”

He is indeed. Tickets for the Wall will be on sale a week from next Tuesday.

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